The Hands We Are Dealt
by the lola
Summary: Blaise reflects back on his life and how his mother, aunt and Daphne fit into it.


**A/N- I'm SO sorry for the continual uploads but it just isn't working...so fingers crossed it works this time!**

* * *

Blaise leans back in his chair, fingering the crumpled pieces of paper in his hand and looking at them through half lidded eyes.

_**Blaise my love,**_

_**Follow your heart- that's all I have to say. Marry the girl.**_

_**Love always, your aunt. **_

_**Blaise, darling,**_

_**Your aunt is dead. This is a hard time for everyone; we want you to be at the funeral.**_

_**I would like to hear from you soon.**_

_**Your mother.**_

He slumps onto the desk in defeat, rubbing his head and blinking back tears because he doesn't _do_ crying.

* * *

He's seven and daddy's dead and he doesn't know what to do anymore but neither does his mother. She cries and she cries and she doesn't talk to Blaise, she can't even look at him because he reminds her too much of daddy. So his mother tells him he's staying at his aunt Maria's – he doesn't even know who she is but it _has_ to be better than living here.

* * *

He's nine and his second daddy is dead too. Daddys don't stay around for long, he guesses. His mum isn't sad this time but he goes to stay at his aunties again and he doesn't really want to go home this time.

* * *

Tears are running down his face because he's so _confused_ and he didn't mean to break the vase – he doesn't know how he broke it but it's shattered and it's glinting from the floor and he doesn't know what to do but now _nobody_, not even his aunt will want him. But it's okay, she tells him - these things happen, accidental magic happens. It gets his attention… he can do magic? His aunt spends days showing him books and telling him all about the world of magic and how he should receive his letter in just one year. A year seems like an awfully long time to Blaise.

* * *

At eleven years old his third daddy is dead and he decides to stop calling them daddy because they're never around long enough - Blaise is never there enough, for them to really be a daddy. His auntie tells him not everyone has a daddy and its _okay_ to not have one. Blaise thinks that nobody loves him because really, nobody does and nobody wants him because he's just trouble and he kills all his daddys and makes mummy sad. His auntie says _she_ loves him and that he is her son too. The day keeps getting better and better because he chooses a home - that is with his aunt, and he gets his Hogwarts letter.

* * *

Realization hits at twelve years old that he won't really get to see any family this year. He doesn't know if he cares but when he spends the first week crying himself to sleep, he decides that he must. It's lucky that he finds the pretty blonde to tell everything about his life to or he might just have ended up in a very different place. Daphne is her name, she tells him, and he likes that name - it's pretty and it suits her but she's sad too and she won't tell him why and it makes him sadder to know that she doesn't trust him. He waits everyday for an owl from his mother or his mothers 'new friend', but he only gets owls from his aunt - that's okay, he tells himself, but it's not the same. No amount of cakes, sweets, books about magic and loving words fill the hole created by his mum and dad.

* * *

He's fourteen and Daphne finally tells him that her mother is dead, her father doesn't care, and her sister hates her and he finally understands and he thinks he can relate because his mother doesn't care, his father is dead, and he doesn't have any brothers or sisters. She doesn't acknowledge this though, because she doesn't want anything to do with him and he can't work out _why_ but he can work out that he _needs_ her. There's only one person he can ask for advice because he doesn't really _like _Draco and Nott is just so busy being fascinated with Lovegood, and he _certainly _won't ask his mother for advice so that just leaves his aunt. She tells him to follow his heart - well what on earth does that mean that he should do?

* * *

At fifteen, he's torn because Daphne _finally_ decides to speak to him again and he knows she's lonely on the weekends and loneliness makes her _sad_, but he wants to see his aunt because she along with Daphne are the only people he cares about. He thinks - _hopes -_ his aunt will understand if he stops visiting for a while and she does. She says that he finally followed his heart and she's proud… he's glad he's finally made someone proud and she says she's the proudest mother of all. She's not his mother- he knows that, but she may as well be.

* * *

His mother owls him when he's in sixth year, probably his yearly owl, and it's all the same - _I hate to let you know, but (insert name here) is dead, I would love for you to attend the funeral. I hope everything is okay and I will owl you as soon as I can. _His aunt always tells him he doesn't have to go to the funeral and he stopped attending them long ago because half the time he never even _meets_ the men and they're clearly idiots for marrying his mother with the string of her husband's suspicious deaths, and he never replies to his mother and she never owls him again till next year. Daphne wraps her arms around his neck and tells him it's okay, but it's _not_ okay and it's _never_ going to be okay even if Daphne makes him feel like it will be - he thinks that he loves her but she obviously doesn't love him so he won't say a thing, even if his aunt says he should follow his heart- he still doesn't know what she means.

* * *

It's seventh year and he feels pathetic because Draco is in a (_secret_) relationship with a mudblood, Theo is loved up with loony Lovegood, and he loves the beautiful girl who's the easiest to reach yet he can't bring himself to tell her how she feels. He doesn't want to stay here on weekends anymore so he goes _home_ and his aunt soothes him, he talks all about Daphne, and his aunt understands and nods and hugs him and tells him to follow his heart but she doesn't seem to understand that he _can't_.

* * *

Daphne kisses him, she says one of them had to do it and he was driving her crazy. He can't believe it - maybe she _does_ love him too.

* * *

And now they're five years older and his aunt's dead and there's no one to go to for advice so he just has this one letter on what to do: follow his heart. He thinks he's finally learnt that it means he should do what he wants to, and what he wants is to marry Daphne.

He knows his auntie wouldn't have wanted any of those people at her funeral, so he skips it and he proposes to Daphne and she says yes. It's the happiest and saddest day of his life, but Daphne understands because when she asked to meet his family his aunt was who he took her to meet. He may have his mother and an eighth stepdad left, but he feels like his only family will ever be Daphne now. He knows his aunt Maria approves, because the dismal day immediately brightens and it's like she's smiling down on him.

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**A/N-** My first Blaise centric story! It was coming at some point to be honest, the **"No Mother of Mine" Challenge **gave me that opportunity. I've always imagined his life in depth but never been able to write about it and when 'Aunt' was the person I was given to write about with Blaise, I realized that's who would be looking after Blaise! And of course there's rather a lot of Daphne but Daphne is a big part of Blaise's life in my head canon :) so... drop me a review you wonderful people? Love always!


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